So I’ve been doing a lot of personal work lately trying to make myself a better me. One of the things I’ve been working hard on is removing the majority of the anger from my life. As part of this effort I’ve been reading a lot and listening to speakers talk about shifting thought patterns and thinking positively. I’ve run into similar info from many sources about changing ones thinking and basically there’s five steps to achieving positive thinking. They are:
Step 1: Decide to develop the habit of focusing on what’s right in your world instead of what’s wrong
This is the habit of focusing on what you have not what you don’t have
The way to develop this habit is to go on a mental diet where the challenge is to live 7 days without a single negative thought. This doesn’t mean you can’t or don’t have a negative thought it just means that when you do you don’t speak it – you set it aside, your forget about it or you replace it with a positive thought.
If you have a negative thought or utter a negative statement you catch yourself and say, “That’s not what I meant. What I really meant was …and then immediately focus on something good and positive.
Do not allow yourself to hold a negative thought for 7 straight days – even when it gets tough. When they come – and they will – you have to let go of them immediately.
If you’re 3 days in and slip up you have to start all over again.
Establish the habit of noticing what you do have vs. what you don’t have. Focus on what’s great about a situation vs. what’s not great. Focus on solutions not problems.
I’m going to ask my team at work to step up and commit to this and see what happens. I’m curious if anyone out there has tried this and what their results are.
Step 2: Instead of judging yourself and others decide right now to become curious instead of judgmental.
Remember when you find fault in other people when you start noticing constantly how they’ve wronged you, how this person is not good enough or too egotistical or too proud or they don’t really care about people – as soon as you start judging other people you’ve got to remember that you also start judging your self.
If you’re angry at other people there’s a very good chance you’re angry at yourself as well.
Perceive more and judge less. Instead of finding fault with other people without thinking about what they’ve gone through to get where they are this day, maybe you should get curious about what’s making this person be in the state they’re in.
Free yourself from the disease of making others wrong and you’ll free yourself from the disease of making yourself wrong. You’ll have a lot more energy for creating solutions instead of problems.
Chane the assumptions you usually make to questions that breed curiosity:
I wonder what…
I wonder why…
Step 3: Decide right now to find something to appreciate about any seeming negative person or situation and develop the habit of giving compliments.
If you really want to have more positive feelings in your life you have to keep focusing on what is right and not what is wrong. You have to get curious and most importantly you have to find something to appreciate even – especially – in the tough times. The toughest times in our lives often provide us with the resources we need to change our lives for the better.
Learn to be able to appreciate where you are right now.
Step 4: Decide NOT to be perfect.
If you expect to be perfect you’re going to be miserable because you’re human – you can’t and will never be perfect. You’re going to screw up. You’re going to make poor decisions, say things you shouldn’t say, do things you shouldn’t do and mess things up like you shouldn’t mess up. It’s reality.
When that happens, instead of being negative and beating yourself up – decide what you do want and say, “You know what? I’m not perfect but I am good and what makes me good and what makes me great and what can make me excellent is that as soon as I notice I’m not on track I correct it. I get better.”
Each day’s goal should be to be better than the day before but not perfect. That’s all anyone else can ask of you – to contribute more and to get better than the day before – and that’s all that you can ask of yourself.
If you do screw up and make a mistake – which you will – if you don’t make it out to be a major catastrophe it’s easier to bounce back. If you make every mistake you make a big huge deal eventually you’ll get so tired you won’t want to get back up. This is true of other people as well – if you make every mistake someone makes into a big huge deal eventually they’ll give up because it just isn’t worth it to try anymore because the downside is so severe.
The only way you fail is to quit. If you learn something and you expand from it and you make some new decisions that enhance your life and the people you care about then there is no failure – you have succeeded.
Step 5: Decide to have faith.
Positive thinking is really just the power of belief and faith is just powerful belief. As you believe so it is created. You need to create that feeling of certainty inside yourself. When the going gets tough, as it surely will, you have to have the courage to face your fears and to take action even though it might not work out. If you don’t that’s the only way you fail.
When the going get’s tough remember – this too shall pass.
You’ve made it through all the things you’ve made it through to get where you are and you’re still standing, still contributing, still moving forward. In this way you are already successful.
What are your thoughts about this post or the power of positive thinking in general?